Food

The Indian food we get in the United States, while tasty, is a very limited selection of what India has to offer. Before coming to India, I was looking forward to all the tasty butter chicken and tikka masala I would. And while I've had my fill, there is a variety here that I had never known about.

            The food we get in the States is mostly Northern Indian, mostly Hindu food. The Muslim Indian food is a bit different (I like it better, to be honest). It tends to be thicker, something you would eat with naan, rather than put over rice. It also tends to be spicier, and meatier. My favorite dish has quickly become something called kadai. You can have chicken kadai, mutton kadai, veg kadai, etc… It is a mixture of tomato, cumin, chili powder, black pepper, bell peppers, and a bunch of other shit that I can’t identify. But it’s amazing. I’ve been going around Mumbai seeking out kadai chicken from as many places as possible.

            North Indian food is also different from South Indian food. I don’t know really know, because you don’t get much South Indian food around here, but I’m told it’s good. I’ve also been eating a lot of Dosas, which are like Indian quesadillas, but without cheese. It’s usually tomato and vegetables wrapped in thin, slightly crunchy flat bread.

            The most popular street food in Mumbai is something called pani purry. It’s really strange. I still really don’t know what’s in it. You get this like hollow, crunchy, ball made of filo dough or something along those lines. You then fill it with lentil (I think) and barley(?) – I really don’t know what’s in it. You then add a mixture of two different sauces, one red and one green, and eat. It is really a mystery to me what pani purry actually is, or why everyone loves it. It’s not my favorite thing.

            By far the best meal I’ve had in Mumbai was at a Parsi restaurant. Parsis are folks who have their ethnic roots in Iran, and are often practicing Zoroastrians. Their food is a very uniqe mixture of Persian and Indian flavors. Some of my co-workers told me I had to go to this one place, called Britannia. The first thing you notice about this place is that there are three flags on the wall, the Iranian flag, the British flag, and the Indian flag. Right to next to that is a picture of the Queen, as well as a picture of Gandhi. I don’t know if you can have both of those on the same wall. It sends mixed messages.

            This very old man, maybe in his 80’s, comes to take our order. The guy I was with is from Scotland. Once he finds this out, he says “When you go back to the United Kingdom, give the Queen my regards, and tell her we love her, and that we want her back!” He then tells me how awesome Hilary Clinton is, and that she will be the next US president. The second time I went there, the same old man took my order. This time, we brought out a stack of papers. One was a post card from Prince William and Kate Middleton, apparently sent to him after he sent them a shitload of fan mail. His prize possession, however, was a letter from the Queen herself. Well, not from the Queen, but from the Queen’s “Lady in Waiting”. The letter said that the Queen was grateful for his many letters, an appreciated his loyalty to the Queen and the crown. It was intense.

            Apparently, most Parsis live in or around Mumbai. During British rule, many Parsi families worked in industries like shipping, and did a lot of business with their colonial masters. Many Parsis became fabulously wealthy. To this day, most huge Indian companies, and most of India’s richest people are Parsis. Huge conglomerates including Tata, Godrej, and Reliance are owned by Parsis. I think that’s why some Parsis may have a slightly more favorable view of British rule. It’s like that in many societies that have gone through political change in recent years. I see it often among Iranians. Many Iranians that were doing well under the Shah’s regime thought he was a great leader (though most people don’t). I saw this especially among my grandmother’s generation.

            Anyway back to food. The weirdest thing about eating in India is the service. If you go to a decent restaurant, they’ll bring you your food in a bowl or something, and then bring you a plate. You waiter will then serve you your order onto your plate. And the waiters stay on top of you the whole fucking time. Once you finish what’s on your plate, they’ll rush over and put more on your plate. If you ordered a soda, once you finish what’s in your glass, they’ll rush over and pour more from the can. It’s actually kind of annoying.

            This kind of emphasis on overly formal service exists at bars too. There are no “regular” bars as we might think of them here. You don’t go to the bar and order your drinks. At every bar, you get a table, an a waiter. And you order your drinks from the waiter. You know how when you order a bottle wine at a fancy restaurant in the States and they show it to you so you can pretend like you are a discerning connoisseur of French wine? They do that here with bars. A lot of the bars play super loud dance music, even if there is no dance floor. Any almost every bar makes their employees wear silly shit. This one bar that I frequent, Toto’s, the staff wear these Mario style giant bright overalls. This other bar that I went to, Bora Bora, the staff wear super deep cut v-necks, ripped up jeans, sideways trucker caps, and a shitload of plastic jewelry. It is obviously an interpretation of western fashions with something (many things) lost in translation. That is one thing I miss about the US, a normal fucking bar.